Small change: it’s not personal

First published on
Mar 04, 2024
we’re stuck and struggling to change
Writing Small Change Being a consultant Communicating clearly Culture in companies Emotions at work Happiness at work 2024

The headline of this week’s Small Change — when delivered in conjunction with the phrase “it’s just business” — is one of the most toxic lines in the corporate lexicon. Money is never an excuse for terrible behaviour.

But ditch that second clause and an interesting broader truth emerges. Here’s the thing: behaviour is never personal.

All of us — to a human being — are walking around this earth with beliefs, stories, scripts, historic experiences, personality traits, behavioural tendencies, genetics and a range of other internal influences that converge on a single, unarguable conclusion: we are walking projectors. Our behaviour towards others is never about them. It is about how we externalise what is going on within us.

When you embrace this fact, situations stop being personal. This can help you find the resourcefulness you need to handle them.

Something to consider: where am I inclined to take the behaviour of others to heart, and how might it be holding me back?

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